by TS Caladan
[The following short story does not take place in our universe or in our mirror-universe. It takes
place in another (parallel) world entirely, and its mirror-world].
Eldan Meyer had a strange life up until his fortieth year. At that point, his life went into hyper,
far into depths of mega-strangeness like he never imagined. He was the Oscar Meyer kid! He
sang the jingle on the famous TV commercial in ’67 when he was 10. “My bologna has a first
name, it’s O, s, c, a, r…” He was heir to the great Oscar Meyer wiener fortune. In fact, Eldan was
made President and Chairman of the Board at 38 years of age with the last passing of the New
York (hot dog) Meyers.
But in 1997, the man was forced to abdicate his high position, give up his valuable shares of
company stock and was basically fired. He was fired at gunpoint! You see, Eldan had a heart
and was a good man. That cute, curly-haired and very rich, little boy grew up to be a decent
human being. He didn’t partake in the usual pitfalls of the filthy rich. The unmarried, loner of a
man lived as a recluse. Although. When President and Chairman Eldan Meyer discovered what
really went into the company’s meat products, he was about to ‘blow the whistle,’ go public and
expose everything (before lawsuits rained in, he believed).
That’s when GUNS entered the picture! His life would be sacrificed so the company could
continue. Or, he could live. He chose to live. He kept his mouth shut. He was unhappy with his
decision. Meyer knew what the company was doing was wrong. He vowed someday: He’d make
things right, do something great for the whole world, if he could. Something. Anything big and
wonderful, to change things and make up for his family’s sins.
He accepted the deal the Men in Black feds offered him. Eldan went into a CIA ‘Witness
Protection’ program in the LA area. His life reset; he started anew. The man was given a cushy,
mid-level job at ZenoDyne Industries, where they were: “Dedicated in finding Future Power
He was alone, rich, and wandered through life, aimlessly. He searched for meaning in
everything. His daily routine consisted of lab work in a fed lab that he thought was prestigious
and was actually doing good research, specifically [his department] on the verge of creating
what was known in sci-fi as a “Stargate.” The possibility excited him, got him out of bed in the
morning. He could have spent the rest of his life in comfort, but ZenoDyne intrigued him: Maybe
they need not build rocket ships at incredible costs that come with great risk to explorers?
Maybe they needed only to step through an artificially-created, mini-wormhole and arrive in a
new universe? That was the promise of his department. The possibilities were limitless, if
successful. They tantalized him; his mind was on fire.
Eldan worked hard on the problem and “burned the midnight oil” during late hours in a lonely
quest to save the world. It was on his 40th birthday, after studying countless papers and math
The answer was as simple as pie? Or was it as easy as cake? He had it; he knew he had the
answer that would create a stable portal or conduit to a parallel world. He tested his idea with
the massive, metallic circle that the company often electrically charged to maximum intensity,
but always powered down and notes were made. Never was there ever an attempt to electro-
magnetically push further, go over the edge and really form the event horizon.
It was as basic as pulling the prime EM lever all the way into the red. A gateway vortex
should form for a few seconds, enough time for him to step through and GO!
Why not? He tried it and SUCCESS! His test hamster made the trip without the mammal
imploding or dying. Remote sensors sent back data from the Other Side that “Spammy,” the
hamster, was alive and kicking. That clinched it for Mr. Meyer. He wasn’t sure if the journey into
the unknown was the redemption he looked for. Didn’t matter. It had to be the reason fate
placed him here on the edge of the abyss. Tomorrow. He was going to make the leap.
When Eldan got home in the early morning hours, he knew he wasn’t about to sleep. This
could be his last night on Earth. Well, the last night on the Earth he knew. If all went “A-OK,”
tomorrow, he’d be alone in the lab in the early morning hours. The tests occurred so often that
one more unscheduled surge (like the hamster test) should not be noticed. It also might mean
that tomorrow will be his last night alive? Who knows how long Spammy’s life will be on the
Other Side, or his?
Eldan fixed a stiff drink, put on soft music and simply rested for a good, long time on his soft
couch. He smiled, looked around and saw his 5×5 Rubix’s Cube that he only realized now he’d
never solve. He missed his cat, Sheno. She had passed last month and was another reason
that the man really didn’t care to move on in this life anymore. He wanted something else now;
he wanted FREEDOM or DEATH. It didn’t matter which one. No one was more up for change
than Eldan Meyer.
He laughed. Then he sang the end of a familiar song, “…My bologna has a last name, it’s M,
e, y, e, r. Ha.” He laughed again and raised his glass. “Thanks, old man. Ah.” He finished his
drink. His mind turned to what he was going to do tomorrow, if he hadn’t decided to jump:
He was going to buy one of those new computers. He asked himself: “What was it called,
Dial-Up? That might havta wait, until I…if I get back, eh?” Then another thought popped into the
man’s mind. He said, “Oh, that’s right. I shouldn’t put off the ceremony for another day…”
Eldan got up and walked into the kitchen. He opened the door to the fridge and pulled out a
very old, rotten pack of Meyer hotdogs. He tossed them in the microwave and set it on high. The
stench was in some weird way beautiful to the man. Maybe he was burning his bridges to his
past and the world he knew?
Later, he remained pumped with energy. He said to himself, “If I were to watch one last
movie out of my vast number of movies on videotape, what would it be? Hmm.” Meyer walked
over to his shelf of classic films. “Not Casablanca or Citizen Kane. Ah, ha. I know.” He liked his
decision and laughed. Eldan pushed the ‘Wizard of Oz’ tape into the player and shouted,
“Weeee’re OFF to see the Wizard!” He smiled. It was fitting. What new world awaits?
Tomorrow night turned into early morning. The last person in ZenoDyne’s ‘Stargate’
department said goodbye to Eldan. He was alone. He marched from one desk to another,
checked his notes again. He made sure the metal mechanism would hit maximum energy yield
for seven seconds, then automatically, and slowly, power down and shut itself off, like before.
When all the red lights in a row lit, the Circle would be powered to maximum. That would be the
moment to jump.
He was going to do it. Eldan took a big breath and smiled. This was it. All the preliminary
procedures were executed.
The Stargate hummed, warmed up and got a bit brighter. Electro-magnetic forces got louder
the more Meyer pushed the prime lever. It went into the red. He was excited and pushed harder.
And the same result happened: inside the Circle, the vortex formed and a fantastic
LIGHTSHOW appeared to the man’s eyes. Pulsating, fast-moving bands of energy in blues,
greens and yellows, criss-crossed each other in brilliant waves. The machine roared with power!
The critical moment came; the row of lights all lit RED!
Eldan Meyer, for better or worse, closed his eyes and leaped through the Looking Glass of
Light and Electricity, and into the great unknown…
He didn’t land in Emerald City or in Wonderland. His jump out of the Stargate… landed him
on the metal ramp of the Stargate? (“Huh?”) The amazing lightshow of a spiraling vortex
stopped, behind him. There was the sudden power-down of the device that lowered in volume
and lowered again. Vibrations decreased…
Elden grabbed his grey jumpsuit and made sure all of his body parts were there, intact, and
in the places they were supposed to be. He turned back and saw through the circle, exactly like
it normally was when not in operation. He walked up the ramp a few steps and touched the
metal. It was cooler than he thought. “Wow.” He looked around.
The large, mostly metallic room was the Stargate facility at ZenoDyne. No one was around.
Everything seemed normal, like he never left. It was 2:30 in the AM. All was as ‘quiet as a
mouse.’ Then, Elden saw it. “Oh, my God! Ha!”
It was Spammy! He ran from one giant electrode to another.
Elden soon corralled him in a corner and picked him up. “Hey, there. Little, buddy. You made
it. Ha, ha. Oh, let me…” Mayer removed a sensor attached to the hamster. “There. Ha. That’ll
feel better, eh?” The man then placed the animal in the palm of his hand and inspected it. He
started to pet Spammy, as he’d done a dozen times before. And…
The hamster bit him, hard.
“Augh! Fuck!” The unexpected pain jerked the hamster out of Elden’s hand.
Spammy was soft and absorbed the fall without injury.
Mayer bled, profusely. He got a cloth and wrapped his hand. “Never done that before.” Eden
chalked it up to the little guy must have been frightened or really went through radiant energy
where he was damaged. Maybe mentally or psychologically?
Elden seemed fine. In fact, he felt great, great and tired. He thought: Might as well go home.
He’d capture the little bastard, put him in the Habit-Trail and take him home.
All in all, Elden Mayer was disappointed. He was greatly disappointed, the more he thought
about it. He wanted CHANGE. He wanted to reach Nirvana! Some new, alien realm, a different
dimension, a Twilight Zone, some brave, new world? He wanted to be an explorer, a hero. But
what kind of trick had the universe played on him? He believed he only achieved the same old
routine and was back where he started. “Shit.”
Later, when he got home to his apartment, and after he found a spot for the Habit-Trail, he
undressed and prepared for a good, long sleep. Elden removed his company ID tag from
around his neck and tossed it. It missed the dresser and fell to the floor. When he picked it up,
Mayer got a better look at the name. “Can’t believe it! You mean they can’t even get my name
right? All this time…and I never noticed? My name isn’t Elden Mayer! HA!”
[What he didn’t know: On the Other Side of the Mirror, it was].
Elden was on his waterbed that he’d slept in for the last 20 years. Something was different,
an oddity that (at first) he couldn’t explain. Why did the bed appear so large? Why was there
less room in the room? He remembered he had a queen-sized waterbed. Why did it appear
king-sized? Was it his imagination and the bed always was huge in size? Mayer wasn’t sure.
It was 4AM. When he was well-rested and prone upon the fluid softness under him, he
focused his thoughts. The room was dark and quiet. Elden contemplated many things in order to
understand. He remembered a photo on the fridge that was never there before. It was of him on
a boat, smiling, with his arm around a young boy. He wondered: Where was he? What boat?
Who’s the curly-haired kid and who took the picture?
He contemplated the incredible idea that his old world was gone and this parallel was a
completely different universe. He put the pieces together: Spammy’s now violent and he never
was before. ‘Habit-Trail’ was different; Elden remembered the logo was one word, uncapitalized.
The strange photo in the kitchen he couldn’t remember. The waterbed that had magically
enlarged. The name-tag. “My God.” He realized that he was within a Twilight Zone, a different
reality than the one he left. Maybe he was Elden Mayer here? He was fooled into thinking he
hadn’t left or the power-surge did nothing. He wasn’t under a cruel joke. He wanted to leave and
he left. ‘Boy Howdy’ did he leave! Here was the ADVENTURE he sought, possibly the chance to
put things right? So he hoped…
It was 7AM. Elden caught a couple hours of needed sleep. The Sun had risen. And
suddenly, he awoke to noises in his bedroom. What the hell? He wasn’t alone. His eyes cleared
and he watched and listened in horror, or was it total fascination?
“We’re home. Toldja I’d be early morning by the time we’d get in from Grandma’s.” An
attractive, brown-haired woman flit from here to there. She bloody well made herself at home.
She unpacked a small suitcase and put things certain places. “Hey. Go back to sleep, El. I got a
few errands, but you don’t have to get up…”
Elden was ready to scream or say something to this stranger, then decided to play it cool.
He’d listen and learn, under the covers of the very big bed.
“Luke loved the convention! Ha, he saw tons of creepy aliens; he was so excited, just what
he adores. Shudda been there.”
Mayer grunted. (Luke?)
“He’s asleep in his room. All tuckered out, still. Ma was happy to see us. Perfect excuse to
visit, her livin’ near the convention center. Oh.” She bent down and kissed a nearly comatose
He froze as she kissed him flush on the side of his mouth. The dazed man tried to pucker.
He hadn’t been kissed in more than ten years, by choice. He thought: Wow. This is my wife,
we’re married and we have a child. Wild. It really wasn’t the journey I had in mind.
She rearranged more stuff and undressed at the same time. Off went the bra.
It had been ages since Elden, more like Eldan, saw bare titties. Then the moment was
She changed into black clothes and continued with: “I didn’t know Captain Kirk never said,
‘Beam me up, Scotty?’ Huh. It was always a variation like ‘Beam us up, Scotty’ or ‘Beam me up,
Spock.’ Never knew that. It was all the buttons and T-shirts that said it, eh? Reminds me of in
‘Casablanca,’ people still think Bogie said, ‘Play it again, Sam.’ Nope. Never said it, it was
always: ‘Play it, Sam, play it, Sam.'”
He agreed, “Ah, huh.”
“Also reminds me…remember in college you told me, that during Vietnam, there was a rumor
went around actor Jerry Mathers was killed in the war? The Beaver! Well, that was wrong; he
lived to be an old guy. Just sayin’…people believe rumors, things that aren’t real, but they make
it real because they believe them to be. Hm? El?” She looked at him. Her new outfit in the mirror
Mayer only uttered one word: “Crazy.”
“I know! Watch watcha believe, I guess. I’m babblin’, hon.” She looked around. “I think I have
anything. Oh. I loved the convention, too. Sulu was there, and, and, wait until you see what
Vulcan crystals are, my friend. Far-out, ha. Ah. Nothing on the agenda for Luke. It’s raining. You
two can watch movies or whatever you do when I’m not around? Okay. Dude. We’ll fuck later.
Bye.” The pretty girl dashed out of a bedroom bathed in morning light.
(I thought it was raining?) The man waved bye. He only had his head above the covers. In
total confusion, he whispered, “Okay, honey, darling, whatever. We’ll fuck later.” He was
spooked. He took a big breath and then exhaled: “Wow.”
An hour later, Elden got a good look at his young “son” in the kitchen at breakfast. Luke had
much lighter hair than he did. The boy was almost a blonde. It felt wonderful to cook eggs for a
son he never had before. The man played along in this dream world. A box of ‘Fruit Loops’ was
on the table.
Later, the boys found themselves around the TV and VCR in the living room. The rain was
back and it was the perfect time for movies.
“Hey, matching Sketchers!” Dad saw that they wore the same tennis shoes. He didn’t notice
that the name wasn’t the same.
“‘Course. Yeah. You were there when ya bought’m for us? You don’t ‘member, dad?” The
boy seemed bored.
“Oh, right, right, Luke. So….ah, what do you want to watch?” Elden rose to his feet and
looked at the movies on one of the shelves. He thought he’d choose for the young man. “Ah.
How about? Aaah…Berenstein Bears?”
“Dad! You know I don’t watch that anymore. I mean, I know was gonna happen…”
“Wait a minute!” The man got a better look at the tape box cover that he thought he knew
very well. “No way!”
“This has to be a misprint. Maybe a bootleg knock-off? That must be it.”
“Huh?” Luke moved closer to his father.
“What? They’re not Jewish, anymore?”
Elden shoved the cover directly in front of the boy’s eyes and asked: “Take a close look at
the bears’ name, Luke. Was the name always BerenSTAIN, like you make a stain on your
“Whaddo you mean?”
Mayer realized: it could be important. “Did the bears always have this name, son? This name
exactly, the way it’s spelled here? Or was it different? Do you recall?”
“I member it like dis, daddy. My Berenstain Bears…you can burn that, you know?”
“Funny. Yeah, I also had a joke about Smokey, you know? Only you can put out forest fires.
What’s Smokey’s middle name?”
“Huh? Smokey Bear’s middle name?” Luke asked in confusion.
“Yeah. What’s the bear’s middle name?”
“I dunno. Tiberus. He doesn’t have a middle name. Dad!”
Elden stated, “It’s ‘the.’ Smokey the Bear. It’s supposed to be funny?”
The boy expressed, “I don’t get it.”
Mayer saw crayons and Luke’s coloring book. “Oh, ah. Yes. Luke? Bet you can’t spell
“Sure, I can. What I get? You think I’m a dumb bastard?”
“Luke! Language! What do you get? You’re gonna get a good spanking if you don’t write
down mommy’s name, perfectly. Here. It’s a test.” Elden gave the boy a red crayon and tossed
the book into Luke’s lap.
“Right. Spanking? You? All right, I’ll do it,” he said, reluctantly.
The 4 letters were: ‘R,’ ‘U,’ ‘T,’ and ‘H.’
“Ah, like Baby Ruth.”
“Movie! We can’t play outside. You didn’t answer what you wanna see?”
Luke’s reply stunned the phony father: “You really are a dumb shit if you don’t know?”
Elden stood over the boy with his hands on his hips. “What did you say to me, young man?”
“How stupid are you? Don’t get all, uh, fatherly on me, now. What if Ruthie fown out what ya
been doin’ to me on our, uh, camping trips? Out ina woods?”
Mayer was shocked. It was like the cute kid was suddenly ‘Damien.’ Did he just turn evil or
was he always evil? The boy had to be lying. “I never touched you improperly, Luke.”
“Oh, yeah? Yeah? Then who’s dick was I jackin’? Who’s cock was I…”?
“MOVIE!” Elden screamed the word so loud at the boy that the kid was scared. The man
realized this was a mistake, or was it? Maybe the other Elden had molested the boy? The other
Elden, or the Elden to his Eldan. The punk little kid may have been victimized by a ‘Mr. Hyde’
version of himself? It could very well be that Luke was not lying. This could be the Dark
Universe, one of anti-matter, where right was wrong and wrong was right? Mayer maintained a
firm hand over the ten-year old, terror-child. He demanded: “What movie do you want to see,
“What I ALWAYS wanna see: Empire Strikes Back….dummy.”
Mayer understood, to a degree, that he may have jumped into hell. The “dummy” comment
hit him like a rock. Funny, he didn’t notice horrible vibes from the wife, Ruthie. Elden got the
feeling that the rugrat-monster they spawned in this twisted and upside-down world, was always
a holy terror. He didn’t cause it by the Jump. No. This was a negative universe, a bad one that
he now felt. The man wondered: Would he ever get back home? Now, he wanted to return. If
this weird dream was a nightmare, he wanted to wake up.
Luke took charge. He put ‘Empire’ in the machine and forwarded the tape to his favorite part
in the entire film. “There.”
Both sat down. The negative Luke was transfixed to the TV screen as soon as the light came
on. They relaxed and watched…
(Luke to Darth) “Obi-wan said you killed my father!” Skywalker yelled as he hung from the
Darth stood over the boy, reached out with his hand and said: “No, Luke. I am your father.”
Luke, in the room, was instantly and utterly amazed. “What the fuck? He said my name! He
said my name!”
Mayer reacted: “What?”
The boy leaped to the VCR and played the part again. In shock, he heard the same thing.
One more time, Luke rewound the tape and played it. “Luke” was heard each and every time
Luke played the tape. “That’s not right.”
Elden was also astounded, not by the tape, but by the violent reaction in the boy.
The ‘son’ turned to his ‘father’ with fear in his eyes. He shook. The confused boy tried to
understand, but couldn’t. “Why’d he say ‘Luke,’ daddy?”
“Luke. I don’t know what you mean. What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? Everything! Last night we saw Mark Hamill repeat Darth’s words on Late
Show! It was always ‘No. I am your father.’ Now ‘e’s sayin’ my name! Dad. It never did dat
“Easy. Well. Maybe you’re mistaken?”
The kid just stared at the man and tilted his small head.
After a slight pause, it dawned on the man that this world on the Other Side of the
Mirror…could be changing. Was changing~
Elden’s mind was suddenly blown to pieces when he just realized: He went home to his
apartment. But now, he and his family live in a house?
“Augh! I’ll prove it…” The boy ran off toward his bedroom, then ran back into the living room.
He set a plastic model of Darth Vader down on the coffee table with some force. He held it
steady. Luke, with tears in his eyes, turned to his ‘dad’ and proved the point. “Listen. Wazzit
The boy pushed the button, like he’d pushed it a thousand times before.
Plastic Vader with his arm out said: “No. I am your father.”
When Luke pressed it again, it repeated the same words. Then he asked Elden, “What’d ya
Mayer thought: The little terror-child sang a ‘different tune’ at the moment; he was scared.
Elden replied, “It doesn’t matter what I remember, Luke, what matters is…I believe you.”
They shared a moment. The boy hugged him. It felt good.
Later, Elden Mayer felt the need to walk, get some air, now that the rains stopped. He
wondered about his sudden wife. What’ll happen when Ruth gets home, to the house? Both he
and the boy were up for a walk. They got along, no verbal abuse like before and no mention of
any other kind of abuse. They walked along the streets of Burbank, California. Beautiful,
downtown Burbank of a negatively-charged universe, apparently.
During the walk, the smart and sensitive kid remembered a few oddities: At breakfast, a box
of ‘Fruit Loops’ was on the table. “Shudda known ‘cos Froot Loops was spelled wrong; ‘Fruit’
was spelled right. Where’d the O’s go?” Luke noticed: “Our tennis shoes, they’re different. And.
There was one more, dad. Looney Tunes! Dat’s it! I thought: Why change ‘Tunes’ to ‘Toons,’ like
cartoons? It was always like music tunes. But dey now say ‘TOONS.’ Daa, da, da, da, da, da,
daaaaa! Shazam. Ha.”
Elden certainly believed the boy and had renewed respect for his point of view. Interesting.
The kid’s bad attitude sure had changed. Mayer responded with, “Ha. Luke. Well, now you know
where the O’s went.”
Luke laughed. “That’s funny, ha.” The boy saw another bit of weirdness that caught his
attention. He was excited and yelled, “Look dere, dad!” He pointed…
There was a big ‘JC Penny’ store across the street. The boy couldn’t help but express: “Fuck,
“I’m sorry, dad.”
“Now what’s wrong? I don’t see anything.”
“Ya don’t? It was ‘JC Penney.’ Two ‘e’s. Why change da name?”
“You’re sure of that, are you, son?”
“We have catalogs at home. Member?”
“Oh, yeah. You’re right. I believe you, son.”
At that point, the man glanced through the glass of a cafe in Burbank, while the boy looked
across the street. The man couldn’t believe his eyes. This was not a weird reality change. He
figured it had been going on for quite some time. He saw Ruth in the arms of another man! It
was her, definitely; she snogged away in a booth. They probably thought no one saw them.
Elden was perfectly located and saw them clearly. He dashed to one side of the window, out of
their view, and took the boy.
“Question! It’s another test. Does mommy have a sister?”
“Okay. Here’s what you get.” He reached in his pocket. “Take this (money), go to that stand
over there and get us a few drinks, Okay? You can keep the change.”
The boy was happy when he saw the bill was 20 dollars. “Thanks! Huh…” Luke examined it
closer. “Looks diff’rent. Anyway, thanks!” He rushed off.
Mayer shouted, “No soda! Juice!”
Elden spied through the glass again and hid most of himself. “Yep.” They were still going at
it, strong. Then they stopped when a waiter approached. “Huh. Wow.”
He walked toward the stand and grabbed his juice from the boy.
They walked in the direction of their house.
The man had a thought. He asked Luke, “If I leave you at home for awhile, you gonna be all
“I’m used to dat, dad. Where ya goin’?”
“I think I’ll check-in at work, something I need…”
“It’s Sunday, dad.”
“I know. Could be important.”
“Thanks f’seeing what I see, dad.”
Elden walked Luke home. Then he headed toward ZenoDyne in the ‘Porche,’ which oddly
was missing an ‘s’ in its name. He was amazed by his sudden son. The child seemed to have
turned to the Light Side right in front of his eyes, the positive one that was his old home. Most
adults, when faced by literal changes in reality [or time-line] would either deny and fight, or
ignore the phenomenon entirely. Maybe he and Luke were of two worlds and were aware of
both universes in collision?
On the drive to the lab, he wondered: If the negative world, here, was changing to the other
one, the positive one he remembered…then, by the same token, was his positive world he left
going dark, turning to the Dark Side? The horror was the thought: The leap may have started a
chain reaction where polarities have switched or are in a process of switching, positive to
negative and negative to positive? He wanted to save worlds, not destroy them. Was the guilt
he already carried going to be magnified by a billion? Time will tell…
He walked up to the entrance of ZenoDyne.
The old doorman, Joe Tuttle, was not his usual slow, half-dead, miserable self. The wrinkled
man in uniform smiled. He was cheerful, laughed, was happy to see Elden, as if thrilled with Life
itself! That was different. They shook hands. Wow. He seemed alive.
Mayer viewed a few (weekend) ZenoDyne workers from various departments inside the large
lobby. Since when did they wear deep blue jumpsuits? The clothes were always dull grey. He
could tell from a distance: they acted differently. They weren’t emotionless ‘robotoids’ that
almost mindlessly went through the motions of their jobs. They were happy; they interacted like
warm, decent, human beings. They talked, smiled, said, “Hello, how are you?” and meant it.
That was different.
“Elden! Just the man I wanted to see. Impromtu visit, aye? Perfect. Walk with me.” It was
Wallace Gill, one of the big execs and ZenoDyne and head man of the Stargate Project. What a
prick, A1 asshole and his boss. He always wore black, like Johnny Cash, or Gary Player, or…
This bright, beautiful Sunday, he wore WHITE?
“Sure, Wallace.” Mr. Gill allowed the Oscar Mayer wiener kid, who was once worth a fortune,
to call him: ‘Wallace.’ If anyone had answers, it would be the head of the Stargate Project.
They took the boss’ private “chute” and zipped directly to Gill’s lush office and tech room in a
The boss beamed with good, calm, pleasing, positive energy, a little like the doorman, Tuttle.
Everyone in the lobby appeared happy, and Wallace Gill was no different. “Boy do I have a few
surprises up my sleeve. Can’t wait to show you the good news and blow your mind! You won’t
believe it, El.”
“I’ll bet. Something tells me…I will.”
“Ha, ha. This way.”
They entered the large techno-office. It was devoid of people. No techs at any of the stations
“Take a seat at the main monitor, there.”
Elden never saw the ‘heart’ and nerve-center of the entire ZD complex without people. He
sat down in front of the big screen. “Good news, sir? You said.”
“Well, ah, maybe not for everyone?” Gill activated a couple of programs and also sat down
next to Mayer. He turned to his employee and stared at him directly. “We know you and your
son are aware of changes happening to our world, yes? Elden? I’m sure you’ve surmised we
spy on you?”
“Surveillance. Of course, comes with the territory. But these changes, sir. Please! What can
you tell me?” Mayer nearly pleaded. He had to know his part in the fluid menagerie where reality
had become surrealism.
“This is all because of you, El.” Wallace informed him, frankly, right between the eyes.
Gill waved his chubby fingers and declared, “No, not really, you, El-DAN…the other one,
Elden. He’s the one who made the huge sacrifice; he had the idea at its inception, brilliant! He’s
the one who jumped first. You mirrored him, you see? Ha, ha. And we fucking, horrible, hideous
animals in a violent, war-torn world of hate and evil witchcraft are, ha ha! Are different now.
Don’t you see or know or feel what is going on around our globe at this very moment, Eldan
Meyer? It’s…lovely. Ooh. A warm, compassionate vibration. Like a sweet song.”
+E.M. was dazed and frightened. Gill was never nice before or charming, but now he was.
He asked himself, more than his boss: “I am terribly worried to discover what is going on around
MY GLOBE, in the other world, my home…at this very moment? Sir?” [Eldan never fully realized
what havoc his negative self could cause on the Earth that he loved. His jump was mirrored by
his own ‘evil twin,’ in a sense. The man, only now, comprehended that as this dark world has
brightened, his bright world has darkened. And it was all his fault, Mayer or Meyer].
Gill had a broad smile on his fat face, a face Eldan had always hated. The boss answered
the man’s last question: “I could show you, on the screen, here…”
“What’s going on on your planet, vast changes! Massive, and negative people on my Earth
are becoming positive; we see the Light and we sincerely thank you from the bottom of our
black hearts, which are enlarging and enlightening as we speak. Love is a wonderful feeling, El,
is it not? Actually. Ha. It’s the other one we really have to thank, the real guy I worked with for a
few years. You, uh, we just met! You’re only a phantom by-product of ‘Project Lightwave.’ You
do look like him, though.” Gill smiled again, almost a mindless smile of a ‘Born Again.’
“Lightwave?” Eldan repeated, dreamily.
“Yes. Oh. Won’t believe this, kid. Our (changed) Oscar Meyer hotdogs and meats no longer
have rat parts in them, anymore. Ha. Ain’t it great? Your world got the shit later than ours.
Believe me, your planet was evil, too. Its rulers/controllers, anyway. But it was the lesser of two
evils. Now things will turn…upside-down. Ah. What a beautiful and wonderful service you guys
are doing for our world. We’re changing, we won’t be all anti-matter like before. We’re goin’
GOOD! Ha. Seriously…”
El was even more frightened. He nervously asked: “A-And, m-my world, Wallace?”
“Oh, man. Your side is going to HELL!”
“No. This can’t be.”
“It be. Relative Hell is changing into relative Heaven…and Earthly Heaven is changing into
real Hell.” Wallace pushed a button and an old clip from 1967 played on the big screen.
“…My bologna has a last name, it’s M, A, Y, E, R…” The clip ended.
El’s mouth dropped. “I said ‘A.’ I fucking said: ‘A.’ That’s not right.”
The boss told him: “Let me inform you. You are not seeing our world’s commercial, anymore.
It was, but our universe has altered. People here are discovering the ‘Hauptman Effect.’ That
singing, little boy is amazing millions on our Earth because in the old clip, you’re now spelling:
M-E-Y-E-R. They all remember: M-A-Y-E-R. What I just played for you is special ‘residual’ and
nowhere in this world, anymore. Disappeared, magically, ha. No. But it is in yours. You saw how
your world now sees you when you were 10. And it’s blowing their minds as well, buddy.”
“Explain Hauptman Effect. If you would, sir?” Eldan asked with keen interest.
“Gladly,” replied a kind and gentle Wallace Gill. “Here, people distinctly remember two
different, clashing time-lines that concerned the ‘Crime of the Century,’ which was quite awhile
ago. Some were positive the Lindbergh baby was found dead and Bruno Hauptman was
convicted of the crime. There’s ‘residue’ evidence to support this. While most others agree with
our history that the baby was rescued in a stand-off and Hauptman later escaped custody and
was never convicted of the crime…”
“You should know, El. There is no right and wrong anymore when worlds collide. Or are in
flux. There is only what was, which is gone, and what is now, the transmogrified reality. It’s like a
beautiful world has descended upon us, overnight, while a demonic one descends upon your
Earth, instantly. Very sorry. People here are suddenly aware of the Effect, searching for them on
the new Internet, and discovering more and more Hauptmans. Why? Because our universe is
actually morphing into yours and yours into mine. Thank the blessed stars.”
E.M. was pissed. He withheld his anger. He firmly asked: “Can you show me the changes in
my world?” Then he ordered: “Show me.”
“Yes, sir,” the boss replied, “Before that, I want to show you a few major changes that have
occurred here. If that’s Okay, Eldan? I should call you by your right name…”
“Please, do it.” Meyer was serious and curious.
“Hmm. Where do I start? Oh, the program! Let me play for you an un-aired documentary, or
the first part of it, anyway…”
“What is it?”
“People here are quickly waking up and realizing the change of polarity and actually seeing
physical changes before their very eyes. The Hauptman Effect documentary will be aired on all
television channels soon and it will not be deceptive in any way. Once knowledge of this
wave/vibration, whatever it is, becomes mainstream, the film will go public. It will explain the
Effect honestly, that people should not fear this movement to the Light Side. Not to fear, but
accept the beautiful things to come. Look…” The right button was pushed. “There you go. The
beginning shows the audience an overview of big transitions that have already happened. Later,
the documentary examines each one in detail.”
“Wow.” Meyer figured: Where did the boss’ dark world disappear to? His world, was the
answer. El realized that if he looked at the video in reverse, he could discover the bad changes
that were now transforming the Earth he remembered…
“Ha. There’s a good one. I’ll mute and pause. Do you recognize that, my friend?”
“Yeah. I know art. That’s Michelangelo’s ‘Moses,’ sittin’ with his staff, probably in the Louvre?
What’s wrong with that? Oh, wait, wait, now I get it! So, what’s the sudden change from your
point of view? Looks right as rain to me.”
“Ha. Well, sir. Everyone who has seen it and other changes, have freaked. Some are cool
about the alterations and accept them. They say they are ‘good signs’ and we should not worry
about the transition, the alternate reality we’re now in. Eldan!”
“Where the fuck are Moses’ horns?”
“Horns? Ha. Sir? Why the fuck would Moses ever have horns?”
“Because in my reality, or history, Michelangelo was one talented and very popular
“Yes. The statue was not an homage to the writer of the Pentateuch, it was a mockery at the
religious leader. Fabulous work of art, we once thought. Now the ‘hornless Moses’ is scaring the
willies out people who’ve seen it. It’s going ‘wildfire’ on the Internet. Ah, next. Check it out…”
Wallace fast-forwarded the tape.
Eldan stated, “The Lincoln Memorial. I assume it’s still in D.C.? Again. I see nothing wrong
with it. Wait. Ah. No. This is pretty much as I remember. How is it wrong to you, Wallace?”
“Where’s his fist?”
“Fist! Abe, man of peace, ended the Civil War, but I don’t know if that’s true here? Why in
God’s name would he be making a fist, which stands for violence and war?”
“Sure did end the ‘Great War, War to End All Wars.’ It was supposed to mean a firm balance
between war and peace, that war was even necessary for peace. Where’s the ‘war,’ man? No
more war? This is Earth-shaking, especially to the military complex that rules the world, our
“Yeah, no war? That would be terrible,” said Eldan, sarcastically. “Next?”
Gill moved the tape ahead to…
Meyer yelled: “Mt. Rushmore! Giant heads of the presidents carved into stone, Wyoming is
it? Wait, let me take a good look,” Eldan said.
Wallace was a bit upset at the relativity in front of him. “El! You’re telling me there’s nothing
wrong with this picture? Seriously! Take a better look.”
The man did. In a few seconds, he expressed, “I thought they were all heads, just heads?
Lincoln’s holding books and Washington wears a jacket? Outside of that, I see nothing wrong
“You don’t, huh? I’m sorry, El. Of course, you don’t.” Wallace Gill clicked back into his new,
cheery, sweet self. “This is the one that is driving some people ‘Scanners.’ Where’d Ben
Franklin go? There’s only four heads, Elden!”
“You’re shitting me?! HA! There were five heads? Franklin wasn’t a president.”
“Neither was he in this universe. Super talented. Why are the ones who really have talent,
the biggest rat-bastards of all time?”
“I dunno,” El confessed. “Ego? You’re telling me he was a super asshole?”
Gill smiled and said, “The biggest! Wormed his way onto Mt. Rushmore and into the hearts
of many, praised as a huge hero to most. For such a fucker to rise to the stature of the others,
who had shreds of decency…amazing. But now…Ben’s gone!”
“That means my Rushmore has grown an extra head?” The man was in shock.
“There are endless parallel worlds we’ve discovered. Our Royalty has learned a high-tech
means to intersect or switch polarity with our Mirror Universe. Instant changes. Machines can do
what appears as magic. Like what is in the ‘Potter Harry’ series of books. It’s real, as you now
“So there are slight differences in the changes, from world to world?”
“Exactly. Indeed. You’re from our ‘mirror’ universe. Your Earth probably has five heads, but
other Rushmores might not. Some may have had three heads to begin with and no Teddy? Who
knows for sure?”
“I thought you did? I mean, my world. You gave me the impression you were going to show
me precisely what was happening to my planet, on the screen?”
“Sorry, El. Let me clarify. A surprise guest is coming; she’ll tell you about, uh, maybe a few
ultimate changes to the Other Side?”
“Before that. I only have two more items to show you, on tape. Okay? BIG, sweeping,
colossal changes! Really blowin’ minds here. You ready?”
“Hit me, boss.”
Wallace fast-forwarded to the correct place and paused. “One more time. Take a good, hard
look. Everyone knows of Giza on Egypt’s delta and the three main, ancient, titanic, stone
wonders, perfectly aligned with planetary directions. Yes?”
“Wallace, this will look normal to me. I know the difference between GP and second biggest:
Kafka or Chefin pyramid? Chefin is most distinctive from a distance with like a big ‘nipple’ on
top, that are original casing stones. I know that much. Nothing wrong from my view.”
“Nothing wrong, huh? People are losing it here because of the new arrangement.” Stargate
boss stopped the image on a front view of the Sphinx with one of the pyramids behind it.
“Sphinx has always been aligned with middle pyramid, Kafka, you called it, second
largest…NOT the Great Pyramid! We have a history where the Sphinx exactly dates to the time
of Chefren, the one that was always in the middle. Now look at it!”
“Wallace. Huh. This picture looks weird to you…because Sphinx is now lined up with the
Great Pyramid, in center?”
“Wow. See, to me, I remember it this way. Great Pyramid, the one with amazing/high inner
chambers, from older time period when we were more advanced, placed right in the middle,
centerstage. And aligned with the Sphinx. It was Kafka off to the side.”
“What can I say, El? You must be from the Light Side.”
Meyer would have laughed if he wasn’t desperately worried about his Earth. Then a strange
thought entered his mind: Funny, he had no one back there. No one he cared about and no one
who cared for him. At least, on this side of the Mirror, he had a wife and son.
“You Okay? Lost in thoughts?”
He asked, “You mentioned a girl, woman. She has answers for me?”
“One more, Eldan. Much bigger than pyramids changing positions overnight.”
“Bigger? Continents have changed?”
“YES! I’ll let the film play and you can hear the narrator, see the images…”
The Hauptman Effect documentary showed old and modern maps of South America, one
after another (and residue of the way it was). A female voice said:
“As incredible as it sounds, to all appearances, the actual land mass of South America has
shifted more than a thousand miles west! Almost unanimously, we remember South America far
east from where it is now. Today it is located right under North America. People remember the
Panama Canal ran a bit north and south. Now it runs east and west. South America is farther
from Africa. The Atlantic Ocean seems wider and Pacific a little smaller. Other areas have
changed because of the Hauptman Effect. New Zealand was always called the ‘land down
under,’ but has shifted to the north. Now Australia is the ‘land down under.’ Sicily is farther away
from the ‘boot’ of Italy. There’s an enormous ice cap with land at the North Pole, when before
H.E., it was only a frozen ocean. Islands have suddenly disappeared off the coast of California
and Australia: Where’d they go? Also, there are many reports of land masses appearing when
nothing was there before. Cities have physically transformed and so have the people…it seems
as if under a spell of positive White Magic…”
The boss stopped the tape and jumped it to the end. A project-logo appeared as a still on the
screen. It was the last frame in the documentary.
Eldan pointed at it and asked, “What’s that? That’s not good.”
“It is good. It is informing the audience that a feature film will be produced called ‘Lightmare.’
You know, another example of ‘Predictive Programming’? Only people’ll be well informed by the
story as a beautiful agenda will be given to the masses, softly. The film, named after the secret
project at Stargate, like the documentary, will help prepare the way for the new world of love,
understanding and doing things the right way. Non-violently. No more need for mass militaries.
No nukes, we will totally/globally disarm. We’ll have all the clean, free energy we could ever use,
eh? No more kings and queens and dictators. No more fascism or war or World Orders. We’ll
utilize Tesla Technology, for everyone! Not just the elite. That certainly will be a first: Power
given away to the masses< We’ll have a New Order, but it will be a simply marvelous New
Order. We really will have the Dawn of a New Day, a good/kind and gentle world. Truth, no
more lies. And. We have you and him to thank. Did you know you and your family can be global
celebrities here if you want, El?”
“No, thank you.”
“What are you going to do? You’ve thought about jumping back, eh? Yes?”
“Yes. I have, Wallace. That means: he’d bounce back to this side, right?”
“You don’t want to do that, my friend. I won’t let you. You CAN’T go back…”
“Why not? What have I done to my world?”
“El. When I said your counterpart, my dark friend I worked with, the other you, who devised
‘Project Lightwave,’ made the ultimate ‘sacrifice,’ I meant it. There’s no…Oh…I should let her tell
you. She’s here…”
Gill nodded in a direction. “See the White Door? Strange. It used to be black.”
“Sure. Shall I?”
“Yeah. Go through it, Eldan. She’ll tell you…what she wants to tell you, I guess.”
The man got to his feet and stretched. He turned toward the door. He took his first steps and
said, “That’s vague, Wallace.”
“Have a good life, kid,” his boss said seriously and sincerely. He waved goodbye.
Eldan returned the wave and went through the white door…
Inside, was a big round room, all white. In-laid patterns, fantastic designs were laced
throughout the floor, curved walls and ceiling. In the very center was a raised circular area more
than 30 feet in diameter. In the very center of the round stage, there appeared to be a 3-foot
hole. What was this bizarre, bright room?
Eldan walked toward center. He eventually stepped up upon the round platform or stage. He
slowly eased closer to the exact middle and stood over the black hole, the only darkness in the
room. He peeked over the edge. What was it? Was something down at the bottom?
Then he felt a different vibration around him and almost heard a low hum. Suddenly. It
seemed like magical sparks or ‘fairy dust’ snapped and glittered in the air above the hole. A form
appeared as a misty column. It swirled and turned counter-clockwise and enlarged more and
more. Something was coming into the material world and quickly came into reality….
It was a brilliant, old woman. OMG. It was the fucking Queen of England! Elizabeth in a gown
that (I think) belonged to Glinda (Oz), the Good Witch. Shazam!
“Your…Majesty?” He bowed, ever so slightly.
She hovered over the hole and slightly bobbed up and down in the air. Elizabeth said in a
meek, British accent: “Now, now, boy, we’ll have none of that rubbish. I am no Queen. I am a
real woman, from birth, strangely enough. I never was before, dear. El. Are you aware ‘El’ is
Hebrew for ‘god’?”
“This black ritual room used to summon demons, put evil spells on people or just make them
attracted/repulsed to the wrong things. Also located in top music studios and political arenas.
That was yesterday, aye? Take my hand, dear,” she gently commanded. She smiled again. The
former Evil Queen (Wicked Witch, from House of Vlad the Impaler) reached out her tiny,
He grasped it and instantly felt warmth, love and real grace. Eldan was in awe. He looked
deep into her old eyes. Tears were in his eyes. “Wh-what…should I call you?”
“Please. Please call me ‘Liz.’ I have a question.”
Their hands broke a bond as the man was overwhelmed, “You can ask me anything,
“What horrid, ugly, vicious, wicked stories have you heard about me, dear boy? I won’t call
you: my Pretty. Please be honest.”
Eldan rubbed his chin and took a few seconds to respond. “I looked a few things up when I
had a chance to use the Internet. You, other royal families, the Vatican, Mafia, CIA, corporations
and other nefarious organizations. That was in my world, of course. Specifically, ah, missing
children, blood-sacrifice rituals, witchcraft, New World Order, Illuminati stuff…like that.”
“I will spare you the gory details. I simply want you to know…”
“…That was the other one. I never drank blood and pledged allegiance to Satan. I’m the good
Eldan changed the subject to what pressed on his mind. “So…because of me, my world’s
“Ah. Yes and no. This world’s Elden Mayer was played like a fiddle along with everyone else.
It truly is a beautiful world here now on what was once your reverse and negative side of the
Mirror-worlds. All double-helixed universes are not the same, you see? Among our pair, one had
to be sacrificed. One had to go. One universe had to die and one had to live, beyond 3000. If no
Project Lightwave, both would have been destroyed, yes? I’m sure you understand. We built the
devices, jumped first and started the Hauptman crossover. We made sure a lovely world
“And I can’t go back to my Earth?”
She sighed and sadly expressed, “You wouldn’t want to, Eldan. My evil twin on your world,
which is who I was only a short while ago, really accelerated the Portal to Hell…that opened
other portals to hell. Every time there was a big jump or little jump, like in your films, a darker
and darker universe descended upon your world. Time has drastically sped up there to beyond
the year 3000…”
“What? You mean, if I had jumped back, it would be in the far future?”
“Far worse, dear boy. Your world has no future beyond year 3000. A lifeless planet that
would very soon have killed you.”
Meyer stood still and stunned. He stared at the fancy, white floor. “But…”
“Try to look on the bright side, El.”
The man raised his head and saw her sweet, smiling face. “Huh?”
“We are on the road to utopia here and will achieve it soon. This empire won’t fall. Earthly
Paradise will have no other side or negative side that beckons, teases and eventually swallows
it up into corruption. This world, the world, is now stable, solid, real and will not shift or ever
change polarity again. The Earth isn’t fake and people care. We will survive in technological and
spiritual greatness. What wonders await! You see…only one of the Earths could have continued
into the future, beyond the third millennium…”
“…Make the best of our positive realm that no longer has a particle of anti-matter in it or bad
vibration, Sir Eldan. New Kingdom is for everyone. Power to the people!” Good Witch smiled a
sincere smile, again.
Eldan thought of his wife and son. He just might take Liz’s advice.
Both citizens thought it was time to go home. They shook hands again and left: Liz, by way
of technical ‘magic’ (beamed), and Eldan, by way of a Porche hover-car. Now, he owned a
hover-car. Nice. This side of the Looking Glass might not be too bad.
He went to his mansion on top of the hill, to his beautiful wife and blessed son.
He decided he would experience all the good things in life that he’d missed, previously.
Eldan very much enjoyed the time spent with Luke.
Spammy the hamster, now “Spammy the Details,” got along great with the cat, Eno.
Eldan understood that this wonderful Ruth was not the wife that cheated on him (the other
him). She had no memory of any indiscretions. Perfect.
That evening, the famous couple made love on a king-sized waterbed. They were very happy~
Copyright 2019 by TS Caladan